Maintenant ou Jamais
by Gabriella Black
Summary: title means 'Now or Never' Harry goes through a hard time after his 5th year, Hermione has her own problems at home, and Draco is stuck in his role as a Malfoy. Lives suddenly clash, and unexpected friendships form. DHr eventually. plz R&R!
1. Reflections

**A/N:  I wrote this a while back on a different screen name and just found it the other day.  I guess it's a lot of angst and defiantly not my best work.  Anyway, let me know if you think it has any promise and if I should rewrite and continue.  The Integral would be my first priority, but if anyone likes this I can work on it.**

**Disclaimer:  Nope…don't own them, just playing with them a bit.  ;-)**

**Chapter 1:  Reflections**

Hermione and her two best friends were once again on the Hogwarts Express, heading for their sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  

Hermione stole a glance at the raven haired boy sitting across from her.  He soon realized her stare, and quickly looked out the window pretending to be particularly interested in the passing trees, but not in time for her to miss the lost look on his face.  She wondered if he was ever going to talk about it.  He hadn't written over the summer, despite the fact that she wrote almost everyday.  He hadn't spoken so far on the ride to Hogwarts, nor had he let go of that photo album Hagrid had given to him after his first year.  

**~*~**

The last week of summer break, he and Hermione had gone to stay with the Weasley's, but even then, no one could get more than a couple words out of him.  He spent his days outside, looking at that book, clinging to it as though it was life itself.  'Probably has pictures of Sirius in it.'  Hermione thought silently.

Today he chose a tree to sit in.  Now a tree was a normal place as any for teenagers to sit and think, I suppose, but it isn't the brightest thing to sit in a wizard's tree, not knowing what creatures could be living there.  Harry soon learned that fact after he was bit by one such creature, startling him.  The next thing he knew, he had landed on the ground next to Ron.  He got up, ignoring Ron's snickers and the normal, 'I told you so' and 'should've listened to me' as he made his way towards the shed.

He usually loved his time at the Burrow, but this summer was different.  Lately, he couldn't help but get annoyed with Ron.   Ron hadn't even tried to talk to Harry about what had happened that night in the Department of Mysteries.  Not that Harry would've said anything, but that fact that Ron was so oblivious to what had happened and the fact that he was constantly happy was driving Harry mad!  He had had enough.  "RON!"

Ron looked aghast at Harry sudden outburst.  He had been in the middle of a rather funny joke that he had just heard from one of the twins.  "What?"

"Just…just go!"  

"Fine," he sighed, "I was just gonna go check up on 'Mione anyways…see you later then."  Ron smiled and turned around.

Harry glared at his retreating figure.  He knew that Ron was probably really smiling because he had gotten more than two words out of him, but he still couldn't help that he felt his heart tear a little when he said he was going to look for Hermione.  Everyone knows that Ron likes Hermione— with the exception of Hermione, that is— but Harry had admitted to Ron the year before about his crush on her.  He knew Ron had probably forgotten about it, but he still couldn't help the anger that surged in him, thinking that he was only trying to make him jealous, which if that was the case, he was definitely succeeding. 

He had gotten his broom from the shed and had made his way to his nightly spot on the roof of the Burrow when a loud shriek came from below—

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!  Get down from there this instant!  I don't know what you're trying to pull, but I guarantee that's not going to solve anything!  You can't just…"

"HERMIONE!"  Harry yelled for what he thought was the sixth time. "I'm not planning anything!"

"Then what on earth are you doing up on the roof!"  Hermione asked confused.

"Just thinking…can't do much of that down there, with the twins and their pranks, and Ron…"  Harry's voice trailed.

"Ron what...?"  If Hermione had been listening closer, she would have noticed a hit of jealousy in his voice.

"Nothing…"  Harry mumbled, "nothing."

"Well come inside then.  It's freezing out here, besides, Mrs. Weasley says that supper will be ready in a few minutes."  Hermione said going back into the house.

Harry sat their a few more minutes, looking up at the sky.  He thought about what Hermione had said.  He wasn't really planning on jumping off of the roof of the Burrow.  He had occasionally thought of the Astronomy Tower back at Hogwarts, but he never took those thoughts too seriously.  He knew how many people were relying on him…he was their last hope.  *Why do I always do things for everyone else!* Harry thought, furious at himself, *because I'm the bloody 'boy who lived' that's why!*  He didn't think he could handle much more.  The wind began to pick up a bit, getting colder.  All the while, Harry sat there unfazed.  He had become numb to coldness around him.  It was everywhere, and he didn't think it was going to go away any time soon.

**~*~**

**TBC…**

**A/N:  Well, here the first chapter!  Let me know  if I should try this one again!**

**_~i luv padfoot~_**


	2. Not So Perfect

**A/N:  I've decided that it will become Draco/Hermione eventually.  lol…my big decision for the day.  Review if you like it!**

**Disclaimer:  Still don't own them.  ::sighs heavily::  If only the world made sense  ;-)**

**Chapter 2:  Not So Perfect…**

Summer had gone all too slowly for Draco and he couldn't wait to get back to Hogwarts.  Lucius had let him come to several Death Eater meetings in the past few weeks, and _oh, how he hated them!_

Draco would never openly admit his dislike for the Dark Lord, especially in front of his father.  But, as luck would have it, Lucius came back from an important meeting one night, drunk, with some 'wonderful' news.  It seemed as though he didn't have a choice anymore.

*_Wonderful_*  Draco snorted. *wonderful my ass.*

He knew what was coming.  He also knew that if he dared turn this offer down, there would be hell to pay.  *If father ever found out that I hate the Dark Lord, or worse, that I would rather die than bow down and worship him, he'd kill me.*  Draco smirked at that. *Funny.  The latter will most likely happen, so the former is definitely true.*

He knew that his father would be angry.  But, honestly, he no longer cared if his father killed him.  *Just as long as he doesn't hurt her anymore.*  He figured if he was gone, his mother wouldn't have to protect him, and Lucius wouldn't bother with her anymore.  

He rounded the corner into the study to see his worst fears confirmed.  There he was, drunk as ever, beating the crap out of her.  Draco couldn't take it anymore.  He didn't have his wand with him, but seeing as Lucius didn't notice him enter, he took this opportunity to get him from behind. 

*All those years as a Death Eater certainly paid off* thought Lucius.  He quickly dodged Draco, grabbed his wand, and within seconds, had him on the ground, withering in pain from the Cruciatus.  "What the _hell_ are you playing at boy?" 

Draco bit his lip to keep from crying out.  He had been through this a million times before, and he wasn't about to give Lucius the satisfaction of hearing him cry.  His silence, however, seemed to tick him off further.  Draco soon felt sharp pains in his ribs, and heard the familiar cracking sounds of his ribs breaking as his father continued to kick him.  

"You're wasting your time _boy." he spat out the last word.  He never did call Draco by his name anymore.  "You both have disobeyed my for the last time…and now _she's_ paid for it."  Lucius laughed at the shocked expression on the boy in front of him._

*no* 

Draco suddenly felt his stomach turn with dread, his blood beginning to boil.

_"NO!!!"  _

Suddenly the curse was broken.  "What the—" 

Lucius was startled as he found himself looking into the cold, grey eyes of a very angry man.  No.  '_BOY!'  He mentally kicked himself.  This boy couldn't hurt him.  He was a Death Eater.  No one could hurt him.  _

"What…did you do…to her!"  Draco spat out with some difficulty, but the hatred was evident.

"Let's just say she won't be interfering any longer."  Lucius replied.  His eyes were, once again, cold and full of malice.

Draco would have retorted, but his eyes settled on the limp figure behind his father in the corner.  He instantly felt like breaking down and crying.  *Ha!  Malfoys' never cry*  His eyes widened with awe as he saw a small white orb of light floating above her body  

He stood rooted to the spot as he found himself staring back into soft, blue eyes, identical to his own.

"Mother," He choked out.  

She just smiled sweetly at him and whispered for only him to hear—

_~*~ Maintenant ou jamais, Draco.__ ~*~_

As quickly as she had appeared, she vanished into thin air.  Draco once again found himself staring into cold eyes. This time, however, they seemed to be completely lost at what had just transpired.  

Draco smirked, knowing exactly what he had to do.  _And, _oh_, how much he would enjoy this.  _

He heard at something fall to the floor and looked down to see his mothers wand roll towards his feet.  He bent down to grab it, wincing in pain as he suddenly realized how much damage his father had caused.  

He heard his father laugh at this.  Apparently he had no idea what was happening, with his mother's apparition and the wand.  'Must be invisible' Draco thought silently as he rose again, 'invisible' wand in hand.

He glared at his father and smirked.  This seemed to catch Lucius off guard, for he looked utterly confused at Draco for a moment before—

"Au revoir _father,_" Draco spit out the last word as if it were poisonous.  

"_Avada Kadavra_"

Before Draco knew what was happening, the room was filled with cloaked figures.

Draco, once again, fell to the ground in pain.  He closed his eyes, surprisingly calm.  He could hear the muffled voices around him.  The last thing he remembered was being able to breathe again, his ribs feeling normal, and suddenly, he felt the darkness take him.

**TBC…**

**A/N:  Okay…a little bit of a cliffie, but not much.  Well, anyways, I hope this chapter was pretty good.  It took me a bit longer than the last one.  It had more emotion and more to change.  I hope to get some reviews on this!  Let me know how I'm doing so far!  **

**Also, some of you may notice the whole thing with Draco's eye color, and no, I didn't mess up.  ;-)  It will all be explained later.  Just thought I'd point that out, since I didn't make it that obvious.  Until Later…**

**_~i luv padfoot~_**


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